Any resemblance to actual events...

Let's examine the concept of making certain items of a personal nature "gratis" after a certain time of night.

Gratis: out of kindness, free, charitable

For example, let's say a woman enters a grocery store at a very brisk pace at, say, 11:20pm, heads straight to the feminine products aisle (purely an example) and seconds later approaches the checkout lane with a big extra OMG large package of products from said aisle. In my opinion, the woman should be able to head straight home and bypass the entire checkout process. Especially if register 1 is closed (even though the light is on) and the surly young man lounging by register 1 says, "he'll get you at register 5." The woman knows the clock is ticking and register 5 might as well be in Chattanooga...and where in the hell is the cashier for register 5? Oh, he's at the front desk making a "I'll be right there" gesture. (Again, just a "for instance".) Shopper discount cards need not be scanned, item(s) need not be bagged, debit card need not be swiped. No need for chit chat. No need for the pleasant "did you find everything you were looking for?" (As freakin' if!) Time is of the essence here!

But like I said, I'm just presenting the subject for debate.

Any similarities to actual persons, surly, living or dead, or any resemblance to actual events, past, present or future is purely coincidental.

Other items to consider as "gratis" after 11pm:
Baby diapers, formula, pacifier, etc.
Preparation H
Pepto Bismol
Bandages
Dark chocolate

On a serious note, here's my feedback to the cashier: Dude, DO NOT ask a woman who has just plunked down a massive package of feminine products on your checkout lane at 11:20pm if 1) she is having a pleasant night and 2) if she found everything she was looking for. The proper greeting is, "Good evening, ma'am. There is no charge for your purchase tonight. May I offer you this complimentary slab of dark chocolate as well? Would you like to hit me? Please...if it will take the edge off."

Just sayin'...

Oh Fabio!

My latest finished object!

Drop Stitch Scarf
Knit with my superwash hand-dyed in "Oh Fabio!"
Pattern by Laura Bryant
Published in Spring 2009 Vogue Knitting

Initially, the pattern comes off as rather fussy. A lot of "Row 9 as Row 2" then "Row 16 as Row 9", but once you get the hang of the pattern repeat you can pretty much go on your own.

As for the name of the yarn...it's named after Fabio, a gorgeous peacock who struts his stuff around Three Creeks Farm.

Festival Preparation

It's tough to photograph yarn and get the true color. Really tough. My camera isn't all that great. I bought it 8 years ago when 2 mega pixels was that cat's meow. About a month later 3 mega pixel cameras hit the market. What are they up to now? 12? But my camera does a pretty good job and it has taken thousands of photos.


Sugar Maple hand-dyed sock yarn. 460 yards of 75/25 blend of wool and nylon. This is a very durable sock yarn. The nylon gives added strength and it can be machine washed.


This is one of my latest handspun yarns. It's an 80/20 blend of merino wool and possum. Yes, possum. You see, there is a terrible possum problem in New Zealand. A long time ago someone brought a possum to the islands (I guess it would have been two possums). They are considered an invasive non-native species and have been causing major problems for decades. An erradication project was established (I don't want the details) and the result is more fiber to spin.
Possum "down" is a very short fiber so it needs to be blended with a longer staple, such as merino wool. The wool holds everything together and the possum adds a lovely bloom. It's also a very warm fiber. I think this batch of 4 ounces wants to be mittens or maybe wrist warmers.


I purchased the fiber for this yarn from the Fiber Denn about a year ago. It's 100% corriedale wool. I'm thinking nice thick socks.


I'm getting my inventory in shape for the Cannonsburgh Village Harvest Days and Fiber Festival on October 24th. I'm planning on selling hand-dyed sock yarn, hand-dyed fiber, hand spun yarn, and maybe a few other items. Stay tuned!

No fleece for me!

As luck would have it, I'm sick. Not flu sick, but a nasty cold coupled with an ear infection. Sick enough to stay home and forego the spinning competition and fleece auction tonight at the Tennessee State Fair. It sucks. I tried to talk myself into going several times, but each time I whimped out. I just don't feel well, and, as I said, it sucks. So much for getting a fleece at a great price.

However, I suppose I shouldn't whine too loudly. Did I mention that I just got back from a weekend in Chicago with my sister? We went to Stitches Midwest and the Wisconsin Sheep and Wool Festival. Fun!

Stitches Midwest Day 1
I arrived at Chicago's Midway airport mid-morning and took the train to the Rosemont station where my sister picked me up. On to Schaumburg!

After a quick lunch we checked in for our first class, "Mastering Yarn Substitutions" by Kelly Nuss. What a great session (even though a few classmates were determined to take the class off-topic and discuss the meaning of "drape". Seriously.) When she explained that you could knit in a tighter gauge but use the stitch count for a larger size and come out pretty darn close, I thought my sister was going to stand up and applaud. It was a lot of math, but it wasn't as scary as I anticipated.

Then it was on to the Market preview! I'd love to name all the vendors we visited, but I know I would leave someone out. I wasn't going to buy anything. Ha! That ended when I saw the possum blend Zealana Rimu yarn. Cha-ching! We shopped until the Market closed and then the real mission began. The hunt for wine. And a grocery store.

One would think that there would be a grocery store on the main thoroughfare through Schaumburg. No Kroger. No Publix. We drove for what felt like miles (probably only a mile or two) and finally saw a sign for the "Shop and Save." After the first aisle my sister whispered, "where are we?" I hadn't noticed the non-English audio playing in the background. I was entranced with the cool packaging and didn't realize the colorful labels were in POLISH. Not that there's anything wrong with Polish, it's just that it took a few minutes for us to realize that we were in a Polish grocery store. In the middle of Schaumburg. And no one was speaking English. So, we bought Polish ketchup, polish pickles, polish chocolate, polish hummus, polish wine, and triscuits. Ok, the pickles and ketchup were for my nephews because one likes ketchup and the other likes pickles and we knew they'd get a kick out of the cool labels.

Stitches Midwest Day 2
At the last minute I decided to take a quick market session on intarsia taught by Beth Whiteside. It was a whim and I mainly took it to hear what tkind of questions people would have about intarsia so I can be better prepared for the class I'm teaching next month. It was money well spent.

After the class we hopped on the train at the Roselle Metra Station and went to Chicago!

Union Station

View of Chicago River from the Water Taxi (notice the trains under the bridge)

View of Chicago from the Water Taxi

Check out the parking garage! Those are some serious parking skills! I wonder how many cars have backed into the river.

We walked and shopped Michigan Avenue and then hit Giordano's on Rush Street for stuffed pizza. We walked and shopped some more, then caught the bus back to Union Station for the train ride home.

When we got back to the hotel it was wine and Polish (and other terribly insensitive and off-color) jokes. We still hadn't gotten over the Polish grocery store...you had to be there. When my sister reads this she'll start laughing all over again. Especially when she thinks about "Skip." (I'll bet that made her snort.)

Stitches Midwest/Wisconsin Sheep and Wool Festival Day 3

On Saturday we drove a couple hours north and went to the Wisconsin Sheep and Wool Festival in Jefferson, Wi. It's a great festival! We got there a little later than we planned (slept in...too many Polish jokes the night before) but we still had plenty of time to browse through the barns of vendors, sheep and babies. Love the babies!

Gun show! Sheep shearing demo. Lots of ladies at this demonstration. Hmm, wonder why.

We bought fiber--Romney, CVM, silk. Karen bought an Ashford spindle. I bought more than I could fit in my suitcase so Karen agreed to ship it to Nashville for me. We spent Saturday night playing with the drop spindle and teaching/learning to spin. She thinks her first yarn is too thick, I think her first yarn would make a killer edging on mittens!

Stitches Midwest Day 4

Sunday was our last day. We went back to the Market for one last looky-loo, bought a few more goodies, and then Karen headed north and I headed south.

The trip was great, and we're contemplating our destination for next year. Stitches and the wool festival were fun but we may opt for poolside umbrella drinks and cabana boys. Cozumel anyone?

Hyp-no-tize me!

I'm still finding it difficult to believe in hypnosis. (This isn't just a random thought on a Sunday night.) Some friends and I went to the Wilson County Fair recently happened across a hypnosis show. The show was about half-way through and there were about a dozen people on stage all flopped over like ragdolls. I was intrigued enough to make a note of the next showtime, so I could watch the "antics" from the beginning.

It seems that the hypnotist is quite popular because we arrived about 15 minutes prior to the start of the show, yet there were no seats left. We were relegated to propping ourselves up next to the TN Lottery trailer. It wasn't a chair, but at least we could lean (we'd been on our feet for hours, literally!) Next to us stood a man and his son. I'd say the boy was probably 10 or 11 years old. The hypnotist got on stage and asked everyone in the audience to participate...close your eyes, put your arms out in front of you palms up, deep breath. Ok, so I did it and felt totally goofy. The hypnotist then told us that in our left hand is a very heavy bucket of sand. Oh, crap. Which one is my left hand? I totally can't tell with my eyes closed. Seriously. I have to look at my hand and check which one makes an L with the thumb and forefinger. (It's one of my more endearing qualities.) This left-hand-holding-a-bucket-of-sand suggestion clearly isn't going to work, so I open my eyes to look at my hands. You have got to be kidding...the boy next to me is struggling with the weight of the bucket of sand. Obviously he knows his left from his right. AND the same goes for about 30% of the audience. Fake fake fake! Then hypnotist dude says that your right hand is holding a bunch of helium balloons and wouldn't you know it--the kid next to me and bucket wielding audience members raise their right hands. What is up with that? (Some people will do anything to get on stage.)

I figure that's how he gauges who in the audience will "work" for his show. So he gets volunteers to come up on stage and sits them down in front of everyone. Then he puts them in deep relaxation. So deep that the boy next to me falls to the ground. Yes, reader(s), he FALLS TO THE GROUND! He's out. Limp. Totally hypnotized. Oh, it gets better.

I should probably mention that the hypnotist very clearly stated that his show was copyrighted and all videos were completely prohibited, against the law, etc. He didn't mention anything about writing about the sequence of events. So I feel it's safe to continue...since no names are being mentioned.

At this point there are quite a few people in the audience, besides the people on stage, who are completely out. They are slumpped forward, leaning on their neighbors, or in the case of the boy next to me, laying flat on the ground. It's really strange. The hypnotist then addresses the audience and tells them that they will no longer receive suggestion, they would be awake, alert and ready to enjoy the show. The boy next to me woke up...until the hypnotist told the volunteers that the ground was very hot. I looked to my left (yes, he was on my left...L...) and he was picking up his feet to keep them off the ground. He was still hypnotized!

Some of the people around us thought he was faking, but you could see it in his eyes. This kid was totally gone. Here's what I want to know. Is there a hypnosis that will work on a 15 year old who doesn't want to do homework, clean his room, empty the dishwasher, mow the lawn? Actually the possibilities are endless! Which brings up another question...has the guy ever hypnotized his wife? And would she know if he did??? I'm totally creeped out by that thought. All this stuff is going through my head as the boy next to me is doing everything the hypnotist suggests. He's watching a funny movie, he's 3 years old (and sucking his thumb!), he's singing along with Barney, he's watching a sad movie, he's on a roller coaster. The boy was much more entertaining than the show on stage. I was crying I was laughing so hard. The boy's dad was enjoying it also!

I'm not sure what triggered the boy to "wake up" but he just popped out of it, as did another woman on stage at about the same time. The boy had no clue why he was on the ground, had no recollection of the hypnotist show. Nothing.

So, how does that work? I mean, the hypnotist literally told everyone to close their eyes, put their arms in front of them and take a deep breath....that was it. The next thing you know a woman is running through the audience speaking in Chinese and trying to get everyone to quit laughing. One thought she was on The Price is Right. A guy told everyone he was wearing women's underwear. Another girl went to a concession stand and ordered 20,000 grilled cheese sandwiches and told them to charge it because the aliens just landed. I don't get it. I can't say that I don't believe it because the boy next to me was clearly in a trance. (No 11 year old boy is going to suck his thumb in front of strangers at a county fair.) I just don't think I could ever get hypnotized, even if the hypnotist didn't start out with something really hard like right hand, left hand. I was doomed from the start.

Space Shuttles and Santa

The Space Shuttle Discovery is scheduled to launch tonight in a few more hours. I turned on the news as they were showing the Discovery on the launch pad. No matter how many times I see prelaunch photos and videos I'm always impressed. What the photos don't adequately portray is the magnitude of all that equipment.

In August 2001, I hit the shuttle jackpot and scored a VIP tour that took us to the base of the launch pad the night before takeoff. It was a rare opportunity even in the days prior to 9/11, and I doubt any civilians have been that close to a shuttle since.

It is important that I mention that the Commander for tonight's flight, Rick Sturckow, and the Mission Specialist, Patrick Forrester, were part of the crew for the STS-105 Discovery mission in 2001. How cool is that?

Reader(s), I proudly present a few of my personal STS-105 Discovery photos:



Definitely one of the coolest things I've experienced.

Here's a quick glimpse of the stocking I'm knitting for the intarsia class I'm teaching at Haus of Yarn. As many knitters will say as they begin to tell you about the pattern--I have made some changes.

I didn't really care for the beard in the pattern. It was too symetrical and perfect. C'mon folks, Santa is a busy man. He doesn't have time to coif the beard. I recharted it and added some wayward locks. Much better.

The next stumbling block was the heel. The pattern calls for a basic heel flap, turned heel, picked up stitches and gusset. Picking up the stitches along the heel just wasn't working for me. I knit it that way twice. I ripped it out twice. It was not giving me great joy. I was knitting yesterday while sitting at the ball pack so I didn't have any pattern books with me. I couldn't decide what to do for the heel and didn't have anything at hand for a reference. Then I remembered something I read by the Yarn Harlot about Elizabeth Zimmerman...and the afterthought heel. (Go read it.) I didn't do it exactly like she explains it. Again, I made some changes. Only one change actually. Instead of snipping the actual sock yarn, I used a bit of scrap yarn to mark the spot for the heel. That way, when I come back to work the heel I just have to pull out the scrap yarn and put the live stitches back on my DPNs. Pretty much the same way you work a thumb in a mitten---knit a tube, add another tube.

The heel and toe decreases will match, and the sock "should" have a good balance to it. I think I can get this done by tonight. Maybe more photos tomorrow.

This Just In!

I'm teaching a couple classes at Haus of Yarn this fall!

Intarsia Santa Stocking
Session 1: Sept 15, 29 and Oct 13, 5:30-7:30
Session 2: Nov 11, 24 and Dec 8, 5:30-7:30
Experience: Must be able to knit, purl, cast on, bind off, follow a simple patternTechniques learned: Learn intarsia knitting and following a pattern chart, turned hem with picot edge, simple two color Fair Isle knitting, weaving in ends, basic sock construction, duplicate stitch, I cord, mattress seam stitch.
Materials: Ann Norling sock pattern, appropriate yarn and needles as stated in pattern, stitch markers, stitch holders, intarsia bobbins (optional), extra pair of size 7 or 8 needles for swatches, 10-20 yards worsted weight yarn in two or three different colors for swatches, darning needle, creative embellishments—bells, buttons for eyes, etc.

Some Assembly Required
Session 1: Aug 25 and Sept 1, 5:30-7:30
Session 2: October 6 and 27, 5:30-7:30
Experience: Must be able to knit, purl, cast on, bind off, follow a simple patternTechniques learned: Quick and painless finishing techniques! Invisible side and shoulder seams, picking up stitches for button bands and necklines, button holes, weaving in ends. If you have a finishing problem, bring your project and we’ll figure it out.
Materials: Swatch yarns in worsted weight preferably wool or wool blend, 26” or longer circular needle 2 sizes smaller than the needles used for swatches, tapestry needle, scissors, assorted buttons
Homework: Please have these swatches finished prior to class time. Use a smooth, light colored, worsted weight yarn, gauge approximately 4-5 sts/inch. Swatches 1 and 2: Cast on 30 sts and work in stockinette stitch for 8 inches. Bind off. Swatch 3: Cast on 30 sts and work in stockinette stitch for 5″ (imagine the neckline of a sweater), bind off center 6 sts then dec 1 st each neck edge every other row 3 times as follows: RS row, K to last 3 sts before bind off K2TOG, K1; on RS after bind off edge K1, SSK, K to end of row. (Do not decrease right next to neck edge.) Purl WS rows. Work one side at a time or both at the same time with two balls of yarn. Work even until 8″. Bind off. Do not block swatches, it’s ok if they are curly.

Check out the Haus of Yarn website for more info!