Why I didn't knit at lunch today

What a day. I need to share, but I have to go back a few days.

Last Thursday I noticed a weird bump on my lower rib cage. I'm not sure how long it has been there because it's not an area I can see easily. I just happened to see my reflection in the mirror (that was a treat...must get rid of mirror) and noticed the bump. Considering the family cancer history, I called the doctor.

Come to find out, my doctor is out on medical leave and will be for some time. I had to get “worked in” with another doctor. The only way to get worked in is to call that morning and get an appointment that day. No scheduling in advance if you want a specific doctor, and I wanted a specific doctor, as in female. I called Friday and no female doctors were available. Called Monday, same thing. Called Tuesday, same thing, but the nurse took pity on me and post-dated my call so it would show up in the system as Wednesday morning with an appointment time the same day at 8:30am. So sneaky.

Now we're to today.

I showed up at the doctor's office and she looked at everything, poked, prodded, squeezed, pushed. She couldn't figure it out so she sent me to get a CT scan. I had about an hour to kill between appointments so I drove to Centennial Park to read and drink that indescribable "smoothie" crap you have to drink before a scan. I found a shady spot with a good view of the ducks and geese, opened my book and popped the top off the smoothie. Yuck. Less than a half hour later the lawn crew showed up and started mowing the little piece of lawn I was occupying. Dust and grass was flying everywhere…so I packed up. I could just as easily finish the smoothie in the waiting area of the imaging center.

My car wouldn't start. The battery was dead. Lovely. Ok, fine, I’ll walk. See Walk 1:


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While walking I called a friend who works nearby and asked her if I could buy her a Thai lunch if she'd come rescue me. We met at Royal Thai (see Walk 2). It was 96 degrees, I was in heels and a lightweight cashmere shell. It's not supposed to be 96 degrees and I'm supposed to be able to wear transitional sweaters in September. Have I mentioned I walked 1.18 miles total? I was hot and pissed, but I looked nice.

We went back to deal with the car. I was pretty sure about where I left it, but I didn't see it there. Oh how lovely. Could it have gotten towed? Stolen? We turned around and then I saw the car. Whew! It was blocked from view by a big handicap accessible bus. Then came the trick of wriggling Becky's monsterous F150 into jumping position. The F150, close friends call her Eddie, is big boned and it was no easy feat to jockey her into position. We popped the hood and the freaking battery was on the wrong side. Seriously. So she had to drive around in the grass (newly mowed, I might add) to get to a spot where the cables would reach. The folks on the handicapped accessible bus were just watching us with a strange sort of dazed curiousity. It only added to the weirdness.

I popped the hood on my car and as I walked around to open it up, I stepped over a curb and into a muddy, goose-crap filled hole. Down I went, lacking all grace and poise. Grass stains on my slacks, dirt, mud and who knows what else in my shoe, hurt my wrist, injured my pride. I swore. Loudly. The dazed and curious were still watching and it was still weird.

At this point, a Nice Man came by to help us. This was after SEVERAL had walked by doing their best to ignore two women in nice work clothes wielding jumper cables. In a snap, he got the car started. I thanked him profusely and then the bus driver asked to borrow the cables and Becky’s truck because he too had a dead battery from using the wheelchair lift while the engine wasn’t running. Really. Well that explains why there was a guy in a wheelchair half-way up the lift.

The Nice Man jump started the bus. The wheelchair lift continued its ascent. The Nice Man was thanked by all involved. Everyone went about their business.

While all this was going on my doctor was trying to call. Everything is normal, nothing looks bad/cancerous/suspicious, it’s just a build-up of tissue. Nothing to worry about. And all this before 1pm. Whew!

Next Wednesday I'm going to knit instead.