Friday, February 18, 2011

The One About Being Sick...Again

We're into the second month of the year and I'm suffering my second cold of the season. I'm two for two and I don't like this trend. I'm calling my disease M2C2 (Month 2, Cold 2).

An unfortunate aspect of being sick is watching daytime TV. Let me ask this...who watches soap operas anymore? I mean, seriously. Before I begin my rant, I need to confess that I watched "The Bold and the Beautiful" for about 15 minutes today. It was the first time I've watched in probably 20 years. I think I'm caught up but I have a few questions...when did Victoria Newman ("The Young and the Restless") change her name to Katie Logan and aren't Victor and Nikki upset with her shenanigans with Brad Carleton? Maybe I'm not as caught up as I thought I was. But really, who watches this crap? Daytime television pretty much sucks...not like evening television is much better. I actually had to go cold turkey on the do-it-yourself daytime shows on HGTV. "Hi, I'm Chris, and I really screwed up my garage door because it looked so easy when the guy on on HGTV fixed his."

Because of this M2C2, I'm missing a retreat this weekend with the ladies from my Prayer Shawl Ministry group at church. As I type they are driving to our church camp at NaCoMe on the other side of Centerville. It's a great spot for a retreat and I really hate that I'm missing it. We've only been talking about this for several years, and now the time comes and I'm @#(*$& sick!

Which brings up another question...can one have "conditional" Tourettes Syndrome? For example, on any given day I might mutter an harmless epithet here or there. However, when I'm sick my language goes into the toilet shitter. After a coughing fit, it's not uncommon for me describe exactly how much it @#*$&^ hurt. Or where's the #g$*(%d&~ kleenex? Same thing when I describe how #$(*$&%#=ing congested I am. And I would be remiss if I didn't mention how $*&@(!!*^! wonderful stoned that cough medicine makes me feel.

Maybe I have DIY Tourettes also...hmm.

Mark my words...I will NOT contract M3C3! This being sick is getting really $*(%&@! annoying.

2 comments:

LeAnn said...

At least your sense of humor is intact...I think.

Liana said...

Holy &!#%)@*$^$ shit, you are sick!!!!! I'm sorry you are missing your retreat. Maybe you can make it up by going to Stitches with us.